Raising two children alone, working full-time, and managing my entrepreneurial interests, running a household, operating as party planner and chauffeur to my children, etc. WHEW, instead of managing my life, my life has begun to manage me. Life for me over the past few years cannot be described in one word; instead a series of words are needed. Words like: frenetic, tumultuous, madhouse, chaotic and plain old nutty. I often joke that I should have a reality show, at least then I would be getting paid to live this overly animated life.
Earlier this week, I took advantage of a gift certificate for a massage given to me by a good friend. The highly skilled and intuitive therapist started at my feet and began to tell me all about the problems going on in my body. She described to a “t”, the lower back pain, neck and shoulder pain and tingling sometimes in my fingers. None of her assessments came as a shock to me because earlier in the year I saw a chiropractor for a few weeks in an effort obtain some relief from those very same issues. As relaxing as a massage is supposed to be, part of it for me was a struggle. A struggle to relax, relate and release. Ahhh…the story of my life and the resulting uptightness I mentioned in an earlier post. The therapist said to me, “You don’t breathe.” And in an instant I knew exactly what she meant.
In all of this confusion somewhere along the way I forgot how to breathe, literally.
I am now on a quest to learn to relax, relate and release. A quest to learn how to breathe again. I must first learn the actual process of breathing again, so I have begun to practice deep breathing exercises. This is a really simple exercise and can be done anywhere. Take a deep breath in thru the nose for five seconds and breathe out thru the mouth for eight seconds. I do this numerous times per day and if you see me and I look strange, please keep walking. I also need to figure out how to compartmentalize the many roles I play. Men are great at compartmentalizing; I need lessons in this. Any volunteers? Another thing I am going to do is to purchase two kitchen timers for my children; one for each of them. If I make chore time fun for them, I can grab 15 minutes here and there for myself to….you got it, breathe. And last but definitely not least I will find a way to bring exercise back into my life. Coming in second place after my time with God, exercise helps to give me balance. I have not had a consistent workout routine in several months and not only am I getting way too soft for my taste, I am out of balance and my breathing is off.
Above all, I need to remember I am not in control of any of this, God is. He has chosen me for these roles and has given me everything I need to perform them. I am not superwoman, nor am I supermom and neither you. Let’s all of us remember to breathe again.